From the Gnutter Gazette: “Wanted: F (45-55), must snort. I (M, 51) lurv a larf. Big life, big house, big belly. Dau. named Kelly. Hobbies: impersonating a theatre usher. Allergies: gluten. No allergies req. in partner. Looking forw. to meeting head to head. You did write that bit about snorting down, yeah?”